MERRY CHRISTMAS 2010

MERRY CHRISTMAS 2010



We are so excited about Christmas this year at HojoCircus! Tony strung the house with lights way before Thanksgiving, the gingerbread houses are made & nibbled on, the tree is twinkling & presents are just everywhere. It has been a wonderful year & a great time to celebrate!

We’ve had many blessings this year. Desiree & James bought a new house in Jenks & have managed to replace most of the necessities of life that were lost in their house fire last year. A few irreplaceable treasures were salvaged from the ashes, such as some very singed & smoky photo albums we were able to restore. They also rescued some of her paintings as well. Desiree stays active in SAA, an advocate group for the medical student spouses, writing their newsletter, fundraising etc. She still works from home, teaching at Univ of Phoenix, & seems to have succeeded at cloning Supermom. James is a sleep deprived 3rd year medical student. He is in the midst of Rotations, which means he works in a different field of specialty each month for 22 months. This month is labor & delivery & Dr. James recently delivered his first baby. He said she was very slippery! Little Alex welcomed a baby brother Jaycen, his sequel, on May27th. He is a redheaded little charmer. Alex, 2, is bilingual & delights in repeating everything he hears & sees with sometimes disastrously hilarious consequences. He also has a clean fetish & likes to pass out coasters. Jaycen is adventurous. He crawled at 5 months & is in constant need of rescuing from Alex who adores him & thinks Jaycen can do anything he can! Jaycen has a mischievous streak & a great sense of humor.

Bryan & Stacy had a difficult year working many long hours at their café. The food was delicious, the atmosphere cozy & the economy bad. Sadly our wonderful MOO COWS had to close in November despite many valiant efforts to make it work out. Closing the doors was like losing a dear friend. Little Justin turned 4 in Nov. He calls & gives me directions to his house when he wants me to visit, which delights this old Dramaw! He spent the night with me one night & lasted till 12:30am when he woke up & said it was time to go home. That is the longest he has lasted away from Mom & Dad! Bryan became a Supervisor at Kimray this year. They have been turning their garage into a new living room & it is looking terrific. Justin & Dad still love to race around on the four-wheeler & give Mama Stacy heart attacks! He still thinks his Dramaw can work miracles & maybe I still have a few up my sleeve!

Shawna is the case manager at DaySpring Villa, a shelter that stays at capacity with abused women & children. She is the children’s coordinator, leads Monday & Tuesday night groups, works with family drug court, and is blessed with freedom to share her love of Christ there. She does the work of 3 women and often jokes that she is mom to 55! She also works with the children at Celebrate Recovery Wednesday & Friday nights at her church & teaches the 2 yr old Sunday School. She volunteers on the Tulsa Task Force with Oklahoman’s Against Trafficking of Humans (OATH). Shawna can make a workaholic look lazy and is always looking for spare time donations. She is wary of Tulsa drivers after surviving 2 separate wrecks this year, both the other driver’s fault. Aimee & I kidnapped our Nonnie over fall break. We drove to Kentucky to see Granny & the family, & then ventured to Chicago where we had the time of our lives!!! You’ve never lived till you traipsed the Windy City with that redhead, it was so fun!

Gloria & Vince both started back to school this year. Vince is training as a welder. He seems to have a knack for it & is advancing quickly. Gloria is back at UCO earning her teaching degree. She works or studies most of the time & is making awesome grades! With work & school they both stay super busy. Zaiden is the light of their lives. I watch Zaiden most days and he helps me with chores & ‘forces’ me to nap. I exercise by chasing him. I put up gates in self defense. He can say many words now. ‘Tank too!’, ‘Love you’, ‘Here go’, ‘What dis?’, ‘Come ere’

Daniel cooked this year at the Café. He is considered an artist at seasoning food. He is now job hunting & considering welding school. He keeps us away from the TV & our brains from atrophy by hosting family game nights. He talked me into an electronic Monopoly! He also got me hooked on an internet smart phone. My cell phone is officially smarter than my brain now. Daniel challenges us to Wii games & Guitar Hero & is the King of Monopoly. Who needs Donald Trump? Daniel tore up his knee & the surgery was May 27th, the same day Desiree went into labor with Jaycen. I raced from an OKC hospital to a Tulsa hospital all in one day!

Aimee is growing up too fast. She has her driver’s permit now. She is in 10th grade home school & loves Biology. She dissected her first frog last week & thoroughly enjoyed it. She keeps looking for other things to dissect. Beware! Aimee has her first boyfriend, who masquerades as the Carney Bulldog mascot. She dotes on him & he on her. They are only allowed family dates. I chaperone & I’m allowed to bring my camera & wait for the opportune embarrassing moment! Aimee is our resident blonde/brunette. She says the most amazing things sometimes. Desiree, Shawna & I will text each other our latest “Aimee-isms” Recently she warned me of an old couple who were walking in front of my car: “Mom, don’t hit the Presbyterians!” I asked: “You mean the pedestrians?” “Whatever” she replied, oblivious to the malapropism. Good thing they weren’t Methodists…

Michaela 11, an impish 4ft 7 ½, changed her last name to Johnson last July. She is official now, no chance of return! Micki has brought her grades up in school & loves playing clarinet in band. She was a ‘pink lady’ in the Christmas musical: ‘Dr. Newheart’s Christmas Cure’. Her tissue stuffed bustle alone made the play a hit as it entered the room before she did! She is our Diva. She loves to primp & dress up. I’ll admit the girl has style. Lord help me when she turns 13! Mic & Katie both played well on the Tiger’s softball team last summer.

Katie, 10, is a 5ft 2 ½ inch Amazon. She is matter o fact, opinionated & we are working on all of the above. She just gave her heart to Jesus last month & is eagerly waiting to be baptized. Katie is very athletic, loves to read & has star quality. She had a lead role in the musical. She practically lives for softball & basketball.

Tony & I (& Aimee) ventured to Washington DC last summer with the Trotters & Camin. We toured the Whitehouse & Capitol, met Mary Fallin & literally walked the soles off of Tony’s shoes. The cheapest pair we could find to replace them was $65...sticker shock for a man who buys his shoes at yard sales! I’m not sure who was more shocked, Tony, whose jaw dropped at the price of the shoes, or the salesclerk when I mentioned his last two pairs cost $1.50!!! Tony’s arm is about 75% restored from last year‘s wreck & God gets all the glory! With his arm & my slow moving, arthritic knee, we have truly paid the steep price of “an arm & a leg”. He is driving again, against all reason & sanity, & he loves being “Poppy” to our four grandsons.

I am still Ringmaster of my Circus. What I say still goes, mostly right out the window! We tend to have a full crowd most nights, besides the 9 of us still living under one roof, We also have our fair share of spectators & drop ins, esp. on the weekends. We serve enormous quantities of food with no dishwasher but our hands & the laundry cycles are endless. But life is always interesting at the Circus & at least we are never bored.

I still manage to scrapbook, I’ve read thru quite a bit of the Bible this year and I’ve found the OT is more interesting the older I get. I’ve ‘discovered’ facebook is a great way to quickly keep up with friends & distant family. I occasionally blog about our “life in the center ring”, but not often. Most days I am privileged to watch grandson Zaiden. He is my snuggle buddy while I sip my morning coffee. J

We gutted & remodeled the hall bathroom this summer & finally replaced our drippy roof. As a concession to aging, we surrendered our favorite woodstove for a gas log fireplace. I can no longer bend on my knees to keep the wood fire blazing. Getting old is certainly not fun, romantic or enjoyable. It’s more like a bad comedy..

With so many married children, I decided the best gift this year was to give them the holidays at their own homes, and a chance to make their own traditions. It was painful, but I surrendered my claim on Thanksgiving Day & Christmas Day so they could make those special pj clad memories. We are celebrating both on the day after from now on.

I’m still working on my bucket list & kicking that bucket gets closer all the time! I am so thankful for my many wonderful friends & my ever faithful family that love & support me & put up with my crazy forgetful personality & idiosyncrasies.

It’s no surprise to hear that I am inordinately proud of each of my 8 children, and my 4 grandsons. They are the light of my life, the spring in my step & the very reason I believe I was put on this earth. But even they cannot compare to my Lord & Savior. I am truly grateful for all God has done for me & I testify that He never fails, He is always faithful, and He truly is the Reason for this Season.

I still love living in my little one block town, where no one locks their doors & Sundays still mean going to church & a roast in the oven. It’s a place where everyone knows everyone else’s business, but only so they can pray for them & lend a hand. There is no place else I’d rather be then where I am, surrounded by the best friends & family in the universe. I’m so glad for the impact you have all made on my life. I couldn’t have made it without you!



WITH LOVE FROM MY CIRCUS TO YOURS…

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM HOJOCIRCUS

Tony & Kathy Johnson, Daniel, Aimee, Michaela & Katelyn

Just Hangin

It funny how children change your perspective on things...Just now as I hung the toilet paper on the holder (being the only one of the 9 who live here able to do this difficult task),  I was struck by whether I was hanging it under or over.  Now believe me it's been years since I pondered that difficult decision, usually it is enough just to get it hanging on the holder.  But this time I clearly recalled how important this issue of the tissue used to be.  I used to be quite adamant that it hang over the roll.  Just as I used to be religious about folding the bath towels a certain way and stacking them by color.   And I used to be picky about facing all the spoons a certain way in the drainer and in the drawer. I also used to be quite fanatical about wearing only church shoes with dresses (what no crocs???). I even used to wear makeup and change into nicer clothing before I went to town or to the store!  So I began to wonder when & why did it cease to matter?
In the nearly six years married years before I had children, I did all of these things and more.  It was vitally important to dust twice a week & hand wax the kitchen floor.  I bought books by the dozens and devoured them. I nurtured flowers and friendships and valued my time to myself.  And then....
I had children... 

Do you cover the ground you walk on?

My grandma, Majane, liked to say: "I may be little, but I cover the ground I walk on!"  She was a gutsy woman back in the day where women were meek and mild.  My favorite story is about the time a neighbor's mule backed its behind into the door of her country kitchen.  Kids were dispatched to the neighbors several times to ask him to remove his mule. He ignored them.  Finally Majane, at the end of her rope, poured a pot of hot water on the mule's rump to make him move.  The neighbor rushed over, angry & indignant & fuming over the mistreatment of his mule.  My grandpa, a quiet, laidback man, answered him with an Oklahoma drawl..."She told ya to move your mule!"

The Dream lived on...

My mom worked three jobs when I was growing up.  She and my dad divorced when I was five. Mom had the challenging job of raising the "Four who unriched her."  She had so many dreams, but she kissed them all goodbye one by one to give us the best life she could pull out of her proverbial hat.  We seldom had enough food to eat, but we never lacked for private music lessons. We attended summer camps and scouts like all the other kids on the block.  It took 3 women to raise us. Mom, Aunt Katy & Majane.  Katy took us to the doctor and bought our clothes. Majane watched us when school was out and taught us the essentials of life, like dominoes.  Mama kept the roof over our heads and the wolf away from the door!  Mama never bought a house, she didn't want to be tied down in case the opportunity ever came to travel.  I figured we tied her down enough, but not enough I guess to squelch

 the traveling dream.  It alone lived on in her heart.

Ironing

I am a post behind in this blogging challenge so here's a short one!
In a funny coincidence, I blogged that I loved to iron and my daughter blogged that she hated to iron!  Ironing wasn't a a choice for my grandmother.  She lived in a day where ironing was essential.  After my grandpa died leaving her with 5 children, she had no choice but to earn her living by taking in ironing.  It probably never occured to her whether she liked it or not, she just ironed hour after hour.   I'm glad we at least have choices.

Majane, A woman of exceptional faith.

I'm named Jane after my Grandma.  We called her Majane.  She was named Nancy after HER grandma. Majane was an absolute character.  When I was growing up she took care of me everyday while my Mom worked.  She read the Bible to me every night. She always read 3 chapters; I don't believe she ever missed.  She had read the Bible through 8 times.  By the time I was a teenager I would read it to her.  Her old Bible was so worn out that Uncle Delbert had it re-covered.  She said she knew where God came from, then she would look up a verse that said "God came from Teman." When Majane was a young woman she led the singing at her church. I've heard she had a lovely voice.  By the time I can remember her voice was gravely.  I wish I could have heard her sing when her voice was strong & sweet.  I am glad I know for sure that Majane was a strong believer. I am confident she will be one of the first ones I meet again in Heaven one day.  Her faith in God never waivered. I always say it took 3 women to raise me, and Majane was certainly the one who did most of the raising. She died when I was just 15.  Uncle Delbert came to our Homecoming football game to get me and take me to the hospital.  When I walked into the room she spoke clearly: "I knew you'd come!"  It was the first time she had spoken in hours and it was the last thing she ever said.  I hope to hear that again when I enter Heaven's gate one day.  She will be young again, healthy & strong, her voice clear and sweet and she will say: "I knew you'd come!"

Responsibilities?

On a rant & rave this morning...sorry!
BRRR! It's freezing in here because once again I've let us run out of propane!  The shower was like sleet this morning and we are all huddled in blankets.  It never used to be my job to check on the propane supply (or the oil in the autos either!)  But all jobs eventually slide to me.  If there is trash to be picked up, animals fed, maintenance or repairs performed, it's my job.  If there are phone calls to make, bills to pay, decisions to make or transportation to be done, I do it all.  If my son is off it is my job to entertain him, it's my job to arrange financial miracles and its my job to insure the house is clean, the laundry done & we are all where we are supposed to be when we are supposed to be there. And God forbid I can't finish the jobs or arrange all the financial miracles, then once again the blame is mine as well.  I can and do delegate some jobs, but they always seem to be done as a "favor" to me and no one really assumes that responsibility. Why is that? I appreciate the times the dishes are done or the floors swept, but when does it become someone elses responsibility, not mine? When did everything become MY responsibility?  
I have come to the conclusion that this too must change.   The sooner the better. Muhaha!

Psychics?

A post on Facebook about Psychics reminded me of the one time I had my palm read.  I was in college, and ignorant of the spiritual implications of soothsayers.  One of my fellow students claimed the ability to read plams and was reading everyone in sight.   Most got a cute little diagnosis, but when she grabbed my left hand she became dramatically still.  "I don't want to read yours..." she stated with great trepidation. Which of course made her seem so much more genuine.  Naturally we all insisted she continue and she did so with heavy drama.  She said I would never be able to have children.  I would try and try and never be able to conceive.  After many years, I would be given a small girl with curly brown hair to ease my pain.
Of course I scoffed it off.  But then 3 years passed of fruitless trying to get pregnant.  I began to wonder if she really had that gift.  Over time I had 9 pregnancies which resulted in 3 miscarriages and 6 healthy babies. I've often wished I could show her my beautiful HojoCircus SIX!  The last one did come with beautiful brown curls....and eventually I was "given" two more that I didn't give birth to.  I believe that Psychic readers are just a gimmic, a total waste of time and a dangerous infringement on our trust in the Lord.  I deeply regret my one psychic encounter.   At least it was before my Salvation and wonderfully washed in the Blood!

Surprises

10 things you might not know about me...
1. My favorite singing group & tv show as a teenager were/was "The Monkees".
2. They tell me as a baby I was mesmerized by the t.v.  If they turned it off, I cried.  I guess I got tired of it.  I rarely watch t.v. now.
3. My grandma said I loved to watch the leaves move outside the window.  I still do.
4. I love picante sauce on cottage cheese & on eggs! Yummy!
5. I hated cabbage when I was growing up!  I love it now if it is raw or stirfried.
6. I never wanted to live in the country.  I planned to live in New York City.  Now I wouldn't live anywhere but here.
7. It's probably no surprise now that I used to write poetry. It might surprise to hear I have a large collection of these poems.  My favorite poet is Walt Whitman.
8. My favorite chores are ironing & dusting.  I love watching the wrinkles disappear!  I really enjoy making things shine.  My favorite poem as a child was about a mom who would send her kids off to school and then she would go about the house and "shine, shine, shine!  I esp love to polish copper pots.  I never have time to do these chores anymore, and that's sad.
9. I always wanted a brick hearth oven in my kitchen and a rack of copper pots hanging over it.
10.  I do not care for bread except for homeade.  That is why I "selflessly" give away my KFC biscuits...and you thought I was just being nice!
11. (A bonus for your patience.)  My biggest regret in life is not continuing the healthy "health food" lifestyle I practiced in my early marriage.  I believe we would all be much thinner, healthier & the love of my life would've lived longer.

Reconcilliation

I wish reconciling life was as easy as reconciling my checkbook. So many issues need to be resolved for me, and soon.  Many are most difficult; some are beyond comprehension.  Gone are the days when cleaning the house & planning dinner were my most pressing issues.  But I can do ALL things through Christ Jesus.  I must leave it in His hands.

Another Blast from the past...

Another oldie from years ago...
You can really get down to some serious thinking, I've discovered, while down on your knees in a flower bed.  I wondered first of all, how I had ever gotten myself buried knee deep in transplanted Iris.  I wondered aloud why Iris bulbs are always crooked? (My Aunt Katy speculated maybe God had a sense of humor.)  I wondered why you couldn't just buy the whole bulb in the dirt...but no, it seems you must leave part of it showing and facing the direction you want it to flower.
If you haven't guessed by now, flowers & I have a rather stormy relationship.  My Aunt Katy has a small flower laden yard in the city. She seems determined to transplant it onto my acreage.   First I must chop up the petrified earth with a pitchfork, (rightly so the devil's sidekick), then with a shovel, then a hand spade & finally with my fingers.
I must carry water in a bucket because I can't find the hose & each Iris "bed" is yards apart from the others because we are planting them in clumps at the base of trees. This is a clever intro into an insanity called "naturalizing".
Finally a stubborn root wins the battle with my shovel and lands me firmly on my fanny.  I begin to think what I "thunk" before...maybe plastic flowers aren't so bad after all.
Postscript:  All the flowers still bloom beautifully, even  25 years later. So I guess they were worth the effort afterall.  Thank you Aunt Katy!

Party On...

There is nothing so beautiful as a warm house full of family & friends.  I was so blessed to have a housefullof both last evening.  Today two of my daughters and I went to the movies.  I love it when my daughter Shawna gets to come home for the weekend. It happens so seldom, but it always makes me so happy when she is back home again. We enjoy the time we have as a family.  It is a small glimpse of heaven on earth.

Settlements & a Clean Slate

I love to save money!  Even when it's not my own.  I just spent 2 days negotiating a settlement of a debt for someone at 40 cents on the dollar!  I learned long ago that every price is negotiable.  Money is so hard to come by that the best way to save it is to not spend it in the first place.  I have two more settlements to negotiate today.  God willing, all will settle for a payable price that doesn't exceed the expected tax return. If so then this young couple will get a fresh new chance to build excellent credit.  Everyone makes mistakes. What a gift to get the slate wiped clean again. I've had my slate wiped fresh & clean so many times by a loving and forgiving Lord.  It is so fun to be a part of this fresh start in the lives of others. All praise & glory to God!

Happy Birthday!

I believe this catches me up!!!
Happy Birthday Nonnie:
You were born after two miscarriages. I had given up hope of ever having a third child. When I found out I was expecting on my 30th birthday, I was filled with more trepidation than excitement. It was hard to find joy in the fact that I would surely lose this child as well.  But God worked in my heart and asked me to trust him.  One Sunday I went forward and surrendered you to the Lord.  Like Hannah in days of old, I gave you over to God and left your future in His hands.  The next day I awoke with great hope & joy.  I drove to Walmart and bought a baby outfit.  Today you are 25...and God still holds you in His hands.  I love you, Mom

Another Poem

I'm behind in my blogging challenge so here's another poem from my teen years to catch me up.  I dreamed this poem one night during the VietNam war & I woke up & wrote it fluently.  I always felt like it was some unknown soldier's thoughts.
Cleverly I stalked him down,
Until his hiding place I found
He turned toward me & drew a breath
He knew full well his fate was death.
And then a strange thing came to be
I looked at him and I saw me!
As if somehow it were the case,
That we were switched, I in his place
And he was looking down at me
Fear in his eyes, and sympathy.
Sadly now I shook my head
And fired the shot that made him dead
Yet as I heard his sharpened cry
I felt myself begin to die...

A Poem from my past

I wrote this when I was thirteen!
Why didn't you tell me that I would grow old
And my childhood would no longer be
That part of my life would be wasted away
Why didn't you make me see?
What happened to Santa & fairies?
Oh why did they all go away?
Don't they know that I would be happy
If they would just come back to stay?
And poor little teddy with one button eye
Sitting there gathering dust...
Like Alice in Wonderland locked in a room
I must find the key...I must!

One man's trash is another man's treasure!

I decided to enlist my husband in my never ending battle against clutter.  I asked him to clean out the bathroom cabinet. After all,  it is too high for me to reach the upper shelves without climbing on a ladder.  He wouldn't want me to do that with these bad knees...I reasoned.
He cleaned allright. I came home to a nicely organized cabinet with items catagorized in neat orderly rows.  It was still stuffed, but nothing was on the top ledge at least.  Oh well, I could probably sort through it later.  This evening I reached under the lower cabinet to get something and was caught off guard by an avalance of dusty clutter!  He had stuffed the overflow UNDER THE SINK!  It reminds me of the time Lucille Ball tried to stuff the excess chocolates down her blouse and in her hat!  I am convinced that nothing had been thrown away. This is the man, I remind you, that digs through my garbage & rescues the poor innocent things I mistakenly throw away.
I still managed to throw away two bags of my own clutter today though and I laughed all the way to the dumpster!

No Regrets.

OOPS! Now I know how to insert photos, we are in so much trouble! People often ask me why I homeschooled for so many years. The truth is I just plain loved being around my children.  Oh there were lots of other reasons too many to mention, but I really enjoy being around these lovely creatures God has blessed me with.  Now only Aimee is left in our little schoolhouse and I cherish the days we spend together. We joke, spar & tease until we laugh, then we laugh until we cry! She snuggles against my shoulder while we wade through Algebra 1.  She texts me in the other room to come see the hideous outfit the video teacher has on.   She randomly tosses out blonde verbiage from that curly brown head.  I will grieve when she outgrows my little classroom.  Just as I grieved when Desiree left, and Bryan, then Shawna, Gloria & Daniel before her.  We look forward to the moment in our day when we can quit for "recess" and play a fast game of yahtzee!  I enjoy being her mom, her teacher & her friend.  They grow so quickly, there is never enough time. She is such a young lady now, but glimpses of the child still show.

Buried Treasure

My daughter's post about her engagement & no pictures sent me on a treasure hunt. Sure enough, buried in my photo CD's was a disc James made me of many of the photos he took while they were dating, and the treasured engagement pics as well.  I am quite excited that God looked down thru the future and knew we would one day need back up copies of these.  Now if I can only figure out how to attach them. God is good!

Unexpected

Yesterday, during my Bible time, I prayed and surrendered my day to God.  What a blessing He gave me in return!  I had my own plans for the day, cleaning, school work, scrapbooking, then suddenly I was driving towards Tulsa with my 3 youngest to spend the evening. One daughter got us free tickets to the Tulsa ballet & a free meal while the other daughter & grandson welcomed us for a brief, but much needed visit in their home.  God even worked out the timing, (He owns time you know) and got us to the ballet on time when it was next to impossible!  Sometimes the best laid plans we make are just not as good as the ones God can arrange for us. 
Speaking of God owning time, I've had many experiences where I could not make it somewhere in time and I have prayed to God asking that He bless & stretch out my time...and he HAS!  (Those who know me as an often late person, will have to trust that I just don't always pray this prayer. lol ) Someone told me about this prayer years ago, and it always works.  I acknowlege that God invented time, owns time & controls time.  I don't understand how it works, but I do know it does. Our God is a miraculous God. He is not limited by the time constraints that we have.  Sometimes I forget that God is still the same God of the Bible and He hasn't changed.  I wonder how many other miracles He would work out for me if I would just trust & obey.  I think I will pray that again today and see what happens!

How to Eat an Elephant.

This is a continuation of yesterday's post about staying focused.  The best advice I ever received is on How to Eat an Elephant.  The answer is one bite at a time.  Many times the tasks before me are overwhelming.  So I break of "bites" of them and chew slowly.  I tell myself I can do anything for 15 minutes.  I can clean clutter out of a closet, I can clear out a drawer, I can make phone calls, whatever for 15 minutes. At the end of that time I can choose to quit or continue.  Many times I have continued for another 15 minutes, other times I have quit quilt free.   It might take me many swipes at a project to finish it this way. Kind of like peeling an onion one layer at a time.  But eventually, the project will get done or at least get down to a manageable level.  This works on emotions as well.  I tell myself, I only have to get through today.  I can do anything for just one day.  This worked particularly well the year I lost my husband.  I couldn't breathe when I thought of him being gone.  So I would tell myself it was just for the day...tomorrow would be back to normal.  Of course life was never again normal for me, but I got through it one day at a time.  This practice even has Biblical roots.  "Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof."  It helps to look back over my life and ponder the many mountains that seemed impossible to climb and yet, I climbed them.  There were so many hurdles and obstacles that seemed uncrossable, yet, with God's help, I made it through them. Nothing is impossible with God. So why should I doubt that He will carry me through the current trials as well?  My best friend & I have a saying: "This too shall pass, just in time for the next problem to arrive." 
So breathe, relax, and chew slowly, one bite at a time.

Staying Focused

This is the third day in a row I've gotten to stay home & I love it!  I am getting so much done!  Of course with the wealth of time also comes the opportunity for the I-GAD syndrome...I GOT ALL DAY!  And that can lead to getting nothing done at all.  My daughter, the someone who suggested the daily blogging challenge, wrote a great blog on avoiding distractions.  Here is my 2cents worth.  Unfortunately I don't always follow these, and you can tell the days I don't!
Make a list. I come from a long line of scatterbrains. The list really helps me to stay focused. Plus I love to cross things off the list. It helps to look back over the list at the end of the day and see that you really did accomplish something.  I don't just put concrete things on the list. I try to include a couple of abstract things as well...such as make a decision about ??? or pray for wisdom about???
Hold myself accountable.  I have a friend that I text and tell what I read in the the Bible for the day.  I am trying to list what I eat on weight watchers every day as well.
Put God first.  This is hard to do, and I fail at it often. But if I put God first, He really will take care of the rest of the list for me.
I have set spending limits and that forces me to be creative.
Hold to my routine.  Every morning without fail I take my perscriptions first thing. Then I make my bed. Next I drink 2 cups of coffee. Then I make sure Michaela has taken her medicine and the girls are dressed properly for the bus.  THEN  I start a load of laundry.  It is just second nature to do these things.  I do them and many others without even thinking about it. I do a 5 min room pick up.  When the kids were little we called it "m & m's"  minimum maintenance. Start the laundry, put the dishes on to soak, do a 5 min room pickup.  Then at least the overwhelming mess is gone which keeps me from doing the "Aunt Katy shuffle" all day long.   And time limits, well, I'm working on that one.  I've been on here long enough. lol. 

Helping?

It's amazing the things that wake me up at 3a.m.  This morning I was jolted out of a sound sleep by wondering if I was really helping by helping.  I thought of how I try to make it all happen for my children. I have been known to move heaven & earth to see that they achieve their desires. But, if it requires ramming down a door that God might be trying to close, then am I truly helping?
We had so much trouble getting to closing on my daughter's house this summer. One obstacle after another crept up & I bravely slammed them aside. We got the house & then it burned..........The next house she is going for has gone without a hitch.  Every door has opened for this one. Hopefully the outcome will be much better.
I helped my son start a business. Every door had to be wedged & pried open.  It was such a challenge to get it going.  The business has been a huge drain, both financially & physically. It has put a huge strain on several family relationships.  My son desperately wishes they had never started the business & would love to sell it.   I wonder....
Yesterday yet another door slammed hard in the long, difficult process of helping another daughter & son sell/buy a house.  We have been battling since October in what should have been a very simple process. Tempers are flaring & Mom can't sleep.  Is it worth pursuing? Or is God trying in His protective way to close a door that I keep sticking my foot into?  Once again I wonder...

Snow Day!

Today is yet ANOTHER snow day, altho the kiddos are in school, YES!  I am free to enjoy the gently falling snowflakes out side my dining room windows and pretend  I am in a snowglobe wonderland.  I have spent this glorious day doing laundry & sorting through paperwork. I love the sound the shredder makes as it chews up old papers & renders them unreadable. I enjoy the feeling of filling up large trash bags and knowing I will never see that particular mess ever again. I wish I could shred the emotional clutter just as easily.  Maybe another day.

The Thinker

Since I forgot to Blog yesterday I will post two today. The first is another nostalgic oldie the kids will enjoy.
There are four of us nonstop talkers, plus a chattering baby (Gloria) & a husband who gives a very good imitation of "The Thinker" statue.
He has a unique & talented ability to tune out volumes of verbiage & enjoy his own solitude in the midst of the maddening crowd (us.)
He has told me, and tis true, that I waste my time telling him anything unless I am positive he is ready to listen.  Otherwise the appropriate "uh huh, mmm hmm" remarks are signs of surface registration only.
On rare occasion I am favored with a smile, perhaps a kiss & an alert: "I am ready to listen dear if there is anything you need to say."
Naturally I am always rendered speechless and my hubby, fully confident that he has fulfilled yet another listening duty, happily closes his ear canals & retreats into his own world once again.

Summing up

I love the end of the week, esp that summing up that comes on Saturday nights. The dishes are washed, the laundry put away & all the kids are quickly rotated thru the shower. I get a chance to reflect on the good and the bad of the week.  This is my chance to wind down, to relax, to take a deep breath before the next day, the Lord's day.  Create in me a clean heart, Lord.  That I may worship you tomorrow in spirit & in truth. Help me to let go Lord, so there is nothing in between us.
I've learned not to just show up at church, but to prepare my heart.  It takes a lot of time....but it is time well spent.

Grandsons

Today is my grandson Zaiden's 6 month birthday.  I am astounded what a difference 6 months can make! He has grown from a tiny fragile infant into a gurgling, smiling, flirty baby boy.  He lights up my life 2 to 3 days a week when I get to watch him while his Mommy works.  He has given me downtime.  I no longer schedule much for Tues/Wednesdays, because they are Zaiden days and I am free to say no to other things. Having 3 grandsons has been life altering for me.  My little Alex loves to call his Nana on the phone & his smile will light up even the dreariest of days for me.  In him I see the hope of the future, the reward for a life of sacrifice & the unlimited possibilites I cannot even dream of.  I miss that he doesn't live as close to me, but he makes my heart sing for joy when I think of him. And the days I do see him are extra precious. My Justin at 3 is smart & happy & always full of plans. He lives close by, but I don't see him as much, which breaks my heart in two.  He loves to visit his Dramaw tho, when he is allowed. I never new joy & heartbreak could go so hand in hand until now.
In May, I will welcome yet another grandson.  I get excited wondering what this one will be like. I want so much to be a part of his life as well.  Truly grandchildren are the heritage of the Lord.  I am so blessed to have the four best blessings of my life.  I give thanks to God & to my daughters for sharing their impressionable little boys with me.  They are the light of my life.

Biscuits anyone?

Like the preacher who reuses a sermon, this is a recycled column I wrote back in the 1980's for the Lincoln County News. But, I love the nostalgia!
I admit it was a moment of rash insanity. The texas-style biscuits were on such a good sale (and also, I soon discovered, out of date), that they ended up in my cart and on my refrigerator shelf.
When my husband saw them he was less than pleased. "Canned biscuits?" he growled in disbelief while I pleaded a bout of temporary amnesia.
Have I ever mentioned that he likes everything cooked from scratch?  Canned biscuits for a man to whom bread is the centrifugal force of every meal? Convenient cooking for a man to whom the microwave oven is synonomous with depraved morality & the National debt?
I must've suffered a blackout!
Next morning after hubby was safely at work I baked the offending little lumps of out of date dough.
"Snack time!" I announced to my merry band of 4 little food processors.  "BISCUITS" they squealed in delight.  "Oh I LOVE those kind of biscuits!" declared my eldest.
Who can win?

Oreo Cookies

Another nostalgic blog...

Reminds me of the time my only boy (at the time) saw an oreo commercial & sadly despaired: "When I'm grown up I'm gonna buy a whole bag of dem oreo's & eat em up & see if they're any good!"
Now I ask you--what kind of mother would only serve her poor children homebaked cookies fresh & warm from the oven? (Gulp!)
What kind of mom would deprive their child of all that sugar & twice the preservatives?
I wiped the tear off his little round cheek, chucked his chin & whispered conspiritorially: "Let's go buy some oreo cookies."
Wouldn't you?

Safety Nets

At 55, (and I don't mean speed limit), sometimes I really miss the safety nets. When life's unfair & the problems overwhelm, who can I call?  I miss my Mom. She could always make me feel better. As long as she lived I always felt she was my backup plan.  Even if all she did was listen, I knew she had the answers, she would do the worrying for me & she loved me no matter what.  I remember my Dad, sleeping over on the sofa the night my husband died.  I miss how he always came through with what I needed, a ride when I couldn't drive after Aimee was born, taking care of car repair when I didn't know what to do, and giving me the best financial advice ever.  He would say there is no such things as emergencies.  You just need to plan a cushion into your budget. He was the one who taught me to spend less than my income & not live to the limit because something unplanned was always around the corner.  He taught me to drive & always said everyone had the right of way but me...and that is so true!  I miss Aunt Katy.  She gave me her sense of humor, her love of flowers, (but not her green thumb in growing them), and I miss her mega shopping trips where she bought everything we ever thot of needing! Those three, Mom, Dad & Katy taught me all I needed to make it through this world.  They believed in me. They encouraged me. And they never left me.  Even now, I take counsel from remembering what they said or believed in. But the torch has passed.  Now I am the Mom they call..........I can never measure up. 

Blogging Challenge?

I can't say that Blogging more was a resolution, but my daughter issued a challenge so here goes.  We survived the snow storm & the kids being home & now I am in a pitching sorting mood.  In the process I found a batch of columns I used to write for the Lincoln County news. (I quit when Desiree started kindergarten.)  I might cheat & use a few of those, they were soooo funny, if I do say so myself. 
Where am I in my New Year's resolutions?  One was to eat healthier.  I'm glad to say we have been doing that.  I only buy fruit for snacks. I quit buying ice cream and mostly quit buying pop.  We are only cooking one serving & I only buy what we can eat on weight watchers.  I haven't exercised very much.  So I guess thats a 50/50,  I purposed to budget & spend less.  That's going pretty well. We have basically quit eating out, just on occasion.  Sonic no longer gets my daily dollars.  I will only pay cash & not debit cards for food when out so that really limits me, I never have cash!  This month I resolved to shop from my pantry freezer & use mostly what I already have! I'm getting rid of tons of clutter & organizing. That's going quite well.  Of course, when you've lived in one place for 23 years, there is a lot to go thru.  I mostly resolved to live like I was dying.  Now I'm not bungee jumping, sorry to dissappoint you, but I am try to eliminate things, and people, that have no meaning.  I resolved to help my children less, this has been the most difficult.  It is my nature to jump in and solve problems.  But then, no one learns anything except me & I learn how much I  shouldn't have helped in the first place.lol. Hopefully, I will improve on that one! I resolved to fix up my house, somehow, someway.  I may not have many good years left. I don't want to spend them with broken faucets, moldy tile, broken kitchen cabinets & a leaky roof.  Maybe if I didn't help others quite so much, my own house would not be suffering and falling down around me.  I also purposed to stay home more. I'm giving up taking everyone to endless dr appts.  I only go to those that are really important.  What if this really is my last year alive?  How do I want to live it?  So those are my resolutions. How are you doing on yours?